Can you think of a time when you were at the grocery store and you heard a child screaming in the next aisle? You go around the corner and see a mother who seems to have given up control over her child. The child is kicking and screaming and crying, and the mother is just plowing ahead with her shopping. You probably thought, "Lady, do something with your child!" or maybe, "My child (or future child) will never be allowed to throw a fit like that."
I myself have had such thoughts at times. I mean, if you biblically discipline your children at home, they will be angels in public. Right?? The lady with the wild child must be a poor, undisciplined mother, right?? Friends let me tell you that these things are dead wrong!!
I have become that lady with the screaming child! I'm the one with a toddler kicking and crying, the one who looks like an absolutely incompetent mother! My child cares not that we are losing The Grocery Game, where the object is to fill your basket as quickly and as frugally as possible with groceries and make it to the checkout before you lose control!
My dear friends, some of you may tell me that I need to discipline my child in this situation. I agree. But how? It is culturally unacceptable to spank a child in public. Even a public bathroom is not private enough. I suppose I could take him to the car, but then I would have to leave my groceries in the middle of the store to spoil and hope they were still there when I returned. (and with Austin, there is no guarantee that he would even be in a better disposition after the rebuke).
So, what do I do when my child misbehaves in a store? After numerous attempts to quiet my child with verbal rebukes and calm pleadings, I do my best to hold my head up high (with a red mortified face, I'm sure) and quickly and graciously try to finish collecting the items on my list. Leaving the rod for later, I just plow ahead with my screaming child amidst the rude spectators. This is a truly humbling experience. It feels as if the whole world is looking at me and my child with hearty disapproval.
I feel bad for ever judging those frazzled moms in the past. While we are called to and should discipline our children, God does not promise that they will be perfect because of it. That poor mom may be doing her best to biblically raise that child. Yet the child is still a sinner in need of God's grace. Remember that the next time you see a struggling mom in the grocery store. Try not to stare. Instead, give her a genuine smile or a kind word. Remind her that this too will pass.
2 comments:
it was great walking with you and austin today! after kate ate lunch she took another nap!!!! crazy!
anyhow, now you've been tagged!
see my blog for instructions....
Thanks for the new perspective, Ben and I have thought the same thoughts many times and the store... "that will never be us, we've had seminary classes on how to instruct others on how to raise godly, well-behaved children."
I'm sure that we too are in for such rude and humbling awakenings in the near future.
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